MARION MOTHERS
BA (Bible Advocate) Interview with Oregon mothers of youngsters.
Somebody's doing something right with young families
in a rural church served by Pastor Dale and Ethel Lawson, just
outside the village of Marion (population 297). In addition to
their husbands, these young mothers give credit to their women's
fellowship and small-group studies for what's happening in their
homes, where every day is Mothers' Day.
Let's meet the households:
The Cernavas: Joram (self-employed) and Jill (not employed;
volunteers at school, hospital, etc.), married 16 years; Anna, 7;
Clara, 4.
The Gjesdals: Shane (ob/gyn M.D.) and Julie (homemaker); Louise,
12; Kelsey, 10; Matthew, 8; Hannah, 6
The Hawkinses: Craig (physical therapist) and Debra (works
part-time for family P.T. business); Makaela, 12; Danielle, 8;
Josiah Jamal, 2
The Hises: Travis (works temporarily for a solar company after
recent layoff from a 21-year job) and Cinda (at home full time);
Wyatt, 14; Luke, 11; William, 18 months
The Sheffields: Travis (electrical estimator at Benton Electric)
and Terri (full time at home); Sidney, 7; Skylar, 5; and Spencer,
6 months
The Stuckers: Loren (biologist for private firm) and Jennifer
(full-time homemaker); Nicole, 4; Jeremiah, 1
The Stuckers: Matthew (State of Oregon bridge engineer) and
Johanna (CoG7 West Coast District treasurer), married ten years;
Daniel, 6; Kylend, 3.
What are your home priorities, and how have they changed?
Jill:
To live as a Christian example; meet our children's emotional
needs; help them discover, develop, and use their talents for
God's honor, not financial gain; and show them God's world
through books, travel, interaction with others, etc.
Julie:
A home of joy and peace - God's peace. The ways I reach for these
goals have changed as I learn more of His will and way. Realizing
the areas I need to grow in usually points to similar needs in
our children. All four have accepted Christ as Savior and been
baptized, allowing me to focus on their growth as we journey
together in faith.
Terri:
My priorities have changed tremendously the last year. Not at
peace with my role, my marriage, or my children's behavior, I
began praying for our marriage (mostly for Travis' spiritual
walk!) and for parenting wisdom and patience. It wasn't until I
began looking at what God expected of me that I began to see the
layers of neglect in my own walk. I was not enjoying my gifts
(husband, children) because I wasn't obediently and joyfully
carrying out my responsibilities (teaching, training,
disciplining, loving, respecting). Now I look for teachable
moments to train the kids' hearts and minds toward God.
With higher expectations, I am more consistent and careful in the
videos, toys, and books they are exposed to. We've changed
extra-curricular activities from gymnastics (individual,
self-absorbing, costly) to piano and Awana (glory to God, not
self). And I've been on a slow journey to figure out what
submission and respect to my husband is supposed to look like. My
struggles have brought more victorious days than discouraging
ones, more joy and contentment in serving my husband and
children. With God working in my heart, I have come to live more
sacrificially, peacefully, contentedly.
Jennifer:
To be my husband's helper, train our children in the Lord's ways,
and help create a peaceful and loving home to all who enter. With
a corporate America career but a feeling of non-fulfillment (I
wanted to reach many people for God), three years ago I came to a
crossroad. We decided I would quit my job and stay home with our
daughter. Right away, our family life improved. The Lord showed
me that my family is my ministry focus, where I can make the
greatest impact for His glory by helping raise up the next
generation of godly families (Titus 2:3-5; Deuteronomy 6:5-9).
Debra:
To help my husband accomplish his goals and fulfill his
responsibilities. I want my children to see that I love their
daddy and enjoy my role and that the Lord does great things
through those who live by Bible standards. I've read several
books in the past two years that challenged me to be a true woman
of God. Trying to sort what's cultural from what's biblical, I
now strive to be intentionally biblical in my attitudes and
behaviors, not just normal and comfortable. The wonderful rewards
have come in a stronger and more joyous marriage and in seeing
our children reach new spiritual levels.
Cinda:
To have a home where my husband enjoys his role and our children
learn God's truth and want to serve Him. My priorities had
slipped, until the Lord turned us in a different direction
through a pregnancy that shouldn't have lasted and gave us
another blessing in little William. We were, and are, humbled.
Johanna:
My number one priority is to love and serve my family. This has
been reinforced through recent study (with other women) of the
Bible and other resources. In a closer look at what Scripture
teaches about wives' and mothers' roles, I'm finding that I need
to grow in loving and serving my family with joy.
Homeschooling, anyone?
Jill:
Our oldest attends public school, and I know the teachers and
students through volunteering there. Formal education is
my responsibility, just as religious education.
Julie:
Five years ago living overseas, we chose to homeschool, thinking
it would be temporary. But God has so richly blessed the effort
that we have continued teaching our children, not having them
indoctrinated with the world's lack in marriage, creation,
sanctity of life, etc.
Terri:
We've made the choice to homeschool our second grader this
spring. I'm so thankful we didn't rush this decision but waited
while God worked in both our hearts. Travis is now 100 percent on
board, a big difference from where I would have felt like I
needed to prove to him that this was the right choice.
Jennifer:
Attending Christian school as a child, I learned to value that
God and education go hand in hand, that the Bible and character
development are incorporated in daily learning. We want to give
our children the same privilege. We want to play an active role
in our children's education, and appreciate the freedom of a
homeschooling option.
Debra:
Feeling it is imperative that we remain the primary influencers
of our children and unwilling to yield that role to others,
we've homeschooled all along and plan to continue through high
school.
Cinda:
Pregnant with our first, we decided that we couldn't justify
putting a small child in a hostile, public environment. I had no
desire to teach at home, but after reading Dare to Discipline by
Dr.Dobson (and prayer), I was encouraged to give it a try.
Watching our boys learn and experiencing the closeness of the
relationship, I know that this was the correct choice for all of
us.
Johanna:
To take advantage of every opportunity to shape our children's
worldview and frame their education with Scripture, Matthew and I
have made a commitment to homeschool.
What's happening at your house with family devotions?
Jill:
We read a children's Bible story at bedtime and discuss it, then
work on memory verses. Both girls request a story and race to see
who can say their verses first. The shortened version of Bible
verses that come home from Sabbath school curriculum disappointed
us, so we look them up in the Bible to make sure our girls learn
the entire verses.
Julie:
We do our best to have family devotions each evening after dinner
while still at the table. On Friday evenings we have a special
devotion with a fun, activity-based lesson. The children enjoy
both kinds.
Terri:
We started having evening devotions but haven't done a great job
protecting the time. Low energy or other activities reduce our
devotions to one to two times per week. We never seem to find the
groove of it being an enjoyable, relaxing family activity. I
think we need to step back, pray, and plan a format that's more
fun and decide how to handle behavior issues.
Jennifer:
Typically we have family devotion time every evening, using
variety such as Bible-reading with questions; memorizing verses;
sharing what we learned from Sabbath class, Awana, or Bible Study
Fellowship; singing, playing instruments, walking and talking
about God's creation and the good things He has done, and sharing
thanksgivings. We end our day with family prayer.
Debra:
We have four to five family worships per week. Craig leads; the
kids read from the Bible, then Craig reads and quizzes the kids
on what they heard. This helps engage them in listening to the
story, and they love the exchange. We sing, with the kids
selecting the songs and often dancing. Then we pray, each one
praying for the person beside him or her.
Cinda:
They've been sporadic, I'm afraid, since we brought the baby
home. We have read books by Brother Andrew, like "God's Smuggler"
and "Secret Believer" Usually they want to hear another chapter.
After reading, we talk about the trials of Christians around the
world. Then we finish up with a prayer circle.
Johanna:
Typically we engage in family worship four nights per week.
Matthew reads from the Bible and a bedtime story, followed by
singing, sharing a thanksgiving/request, and prayer time. The
boys respond enthusiastically; Daniel runs and opens the books to
the right pages, and Kylend is always ready with a song request!
Moms and Dads must fight for their families against a dominant
culture that threatens to sweep them all up in its evil grip.
Agreed? Comments?
Jill:
Yes, as a parent you feel as though you or your child is
constantly under attack by our culture. Example: I purchased a
Golden Book titled "Jesus" that I felt would be safe for my
children, so they looked at it awhile before I read it to them. I
was shocked when I read the last line in the book: "Jesus died."
End of the story! I threw the book away and learned that even
"religious" books need to be previewed.
Julie:
Yes, we are concerned. Our children are God's precious gift, but
special interest groups dominate our society and
indoctrinate our children. Our rights to influence their
education are being diminished; no longer are there moral
absolutes. God says otherwise.
Jennifer:
Lots of temptation and deception is "out there" in regard to the
so-called American dream, and the culture is so absorbed in
self-gratification. Satan has caused great confusion in the roles
of husband and wife, causing a downward spiral in society. We
need to put on the armor of God and prepare our children to fight
this spiritual battle alongside us.
Debra:
Absolutely! Our children are being assimilated into
unbiblical and anti-Christian mainstream America at an alarming
rate. Of those who remain, not many hold a biblical worldview or
are passionate about their faith. Let's be on the offensive by
fighting for our children's souls, actively training them in His
ways.
Cinda:
I agree wholeheartedly. From the time they are small, our
children are bombarded with worldly propaganda. From clothing to
food/drink to the glitz and "fun" of holidays, they are told that
they should have whatever they want. "What's the harm?" We must
stay on our toes lest Satan use even little openings and soon the
door is opened wide for him.
Johanna:
While I can agree with this sentiment, I would express concern by
asking if what we (the church and parents) have been doing to
train our children as followers of Christ is really working. We
young adults have the advantage of looking back on what has not
worked. So many of our peers have turned away from Christ!
Observing the many ways families have been compromised, let's
endeavor to train and disciple our children as God commands.
What support systems have you found to help parents accomplish
God-given roles?
Jill:
I have read several books, but I'm still looking for anything
that I would consider great. My husband and I subsist on a strong
Christian upbringing, but know it will get tougher as our
children grow.
Julie:
We've used materials from Vision Forum, Ken Ham, and Focus on the
Family.
Terri:
The Love and Respect conference at our church was instrumental in
improving our marriage. Small group discussions on Sabbath morn-
ing and talking with other women and couples in our church have
been key in supporting our sometimes shaky steps forward.
Jennifer:
The Church can help by providing classes and sermons on family
living; by teaching us what the Bible says for husbands, wives,
parents, and others; and by promoting a family-togetherness
environment. Our church libary is helpful, too.
Debra:
The Church could offer training on biblical manhood and
womanhood, biblical worldview, and how to pass on a godly legacy.
For us, more family-centered activity with the Church, rather
than separating families by age groupings, would be a wonderful
blessing.
Johanna:
The most influential support for me has been our women's Sabbath
school class, where we have studied this topic. It is important
for the Church to be intentional in teaching/training husbands
and wives in fulfilling these God-given roles.
..........
From "The Bible Advocate" - May/June 2010 - a publication of the
Church of God, Seventh Day - Denver, CO. USA.
www.cog7.org/BA
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