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OFFENDING
and
BEING OFFENDED
Part One
by
Keith Hunt
We shall clearly see shortly from the mouth of Jesus Himself
that OFFENDING others is a very serious matter. First, let's see
how a popular English Dictionary defines the word "offend."
" 1. to hurt the feelings of; make angry; displease......2.
to affect in an unpleasant or disagreeable way......3.....to
cause to sin: If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out
(Matthew 5:29). 4.....a. to sin against; wrong (a person). b. to
violate; transgress (a law)......." (World Book Dictionary).
W. E. Vine has much to say on the words in the Greek NT that
would come under the subject of this study. We shall concentrate
on the Greek word "skandalon" and "skandalizoo" which comes from
the word "skandalon." Here is what Vine says:
"1. skandalon (he gives the Greek and then the number 4625
as in Strong's Concordance - Keith Hunt) originally was the name
of a part of a trap to which the bait is attached, hence, the
trap or snare itself, as in Rom.11:9, RV, 'stumblingblock,'
quoted from Psa.69:22, and in Rev.2:14, for Balaam's device was
rather a trap for Israel than a stumblingblock to them, and in
Matt.16:23, for in Peter's words the Lord perceived a snare laid
for Him by Satan.
'In the NT skandalon is always used metaphorically, and
ordinarily of anything that arouses the prejudice, or becomes a
hinderance to others, or causes them to fall by the way.....'
(From Notes on Galatians by Hogg and Vine, p.262)......
skandalizoo (he gives the Greek and number 4624 as in
Strong's Concordance - Keith Hunt), from skandalon (Offence....),
signifies 'to put a snare or stumblingblock in the way,' always
metaphorically in the NT, in the same ways as the noun....It is
used 14 times in Matthew, 8 in Mark, twice in Luke, twice in
John; elsewhere in 1 Cor.8:13 (twice) and 2 Cor.11:29....."
End of quote from Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary of
Old and New Testament Words.
This study will focus on giving offence that causes someone
to stumble or fall, and the other side of the coin, how to
safe-guard ourselves from being offended and hence our possible
fall.
THE IMPORTANCE OF NOT OFFENDING SOMEONE
Anyone who has lived for any length of time, even a very
young child, and had contact with other human beings, will have
experienced being offended, and also offending others in some
shape, manner, or form. Our inner emotions tell us when we
are offended, by what someone has said to or about us, as well as
what they may have done towards us in actions. And the look on
the face or the tone of voice, as well as what might be openly
said to us, or their actions towards us, from others, tells us
when we have offended others.
Sooner or later in life, most of us will experience being
offended, and it is the rare individual who goes through life
never offending others. Getting offended is one thing,
for that is something that takes place first of all WITHIN us, in
the mind, and then may or may not manifest itself OUT of us, in
our words and/or actions. Getting offended can be much easier to
control or shall we say, not allow ourself to be overcome by or
consumed with, if we are a strong willed person who has learnt
how to master their emotions. But offending others can be far
more complicated and often much harder to control. Why? Well for
on very simple reason. You can be a master at controlling every
word and physical action that comes from you as you converse with
other people, but the fact is that some people will get offended
merely by the way you LIVE, by you being the very person you are.
You may be working in a company where you have little or no
verbal contact with a certain person, but when in the same room,
you know by their actions or the way they look at you that they
are offended by you. They know what you are in personality and
/or manner of life (your beliefs and practices) and they are
offended by you.
The Bible has much to say about this topic of offending and
being offended. It is indeed a two sided coin. There is the
aspect of what God's word has to say about NOT offending OTHERS,
which will include looking at that side of the coin as to
offending others in a deliberate way, and the fact that we offend
some merely by our Christian life style of beliefs and practices.
We need to understand what God says on both aspects of that side
of the issue.
Jesus pulled no punches on this subject. He spoke plainly
about the seriousness of not offending others to cause them to
stumble and fall.
"But whoso shall OFFEND one of these little ones which
believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were
hanged about his neck, and that he was drowned in the depth of
the sea. Woe unto the world because of OFFENSES! for it must
needs be that offenses come, but woe to that man by whom the
offense comes!" (Mat.18:6,7).
Such is the way of the human heart in the world. Offenses
will be part of the way of living in this world, at some point in
time, but Jesus said "woe to that man by whom the offense comes."
And He had already explained in no uncertain words about the
seriousness of those who give offence and what would have been
better for them (verse 6).
Because it was such a serious matter Jesus went on to say
that every effort should be made by a person NOT to cause to
stumble and fall ANYONE, but especially the little new and in
many ways the weak ones coming to Him and the Father. Note the
following carefully, all added comments are mine.
"Wherefore if your hand or your foot (what you literally
perform and do) offend you (causes you to help stumble and fall
another) cut them off, and cast them from you (get rid of your
offensive actions), it is better for you to enter into life halt
or maimed (doing without an action that you maybe in Christ have
a liberty to have - see what Paul said in Romans 14:13,21),
rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into
everlasting fire. And if your eye offend you (what you perceive
and see as your right and liberty to think and act and speak),
pluck it out and cast it from you (if it is going to cause
someone to fall and stumble from salvation): it is better for you
to enter into life with one eye (not doing all the things in word
and action you possibly have liberty to do in Christ - Romans
14:13,21 principle, as well as the wrong things of the mouth and
actions that would cause someone to fall from salvation), rather
than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
TAKE HEED that you despise not (by giving offense as to
cause to stumble) ONE of these LITTLE ONES; for I say unto you,
that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my
Father which is in heaven. For the Son of man is come to SAVE
that which WAS LOST. How think you? If a man has a hundred sheep,
and one of them be gone astray, does he not leave the ninety and
nine, and goes into the mountains, and seeks after that which has
gone astray? And if so be that he finds it, truly I say unto you,
he rejoices more over that sheep than the ninety and nine which
went not astray. Even so it is NOT THE WILL of your Father which
is in heaven, that ONE of these little ones should PERISH"
(verses 8-14).
God the Father is in the business of SAVING souls, bringing
them back from being lost, and saving them into eternal life. He
does not want to see ANYONE perish (2 Peter 3:9). Hence those
already called and chosen, those already walking in truth and
light, already a part of His family, had better make sure they
are extremely careful in word and deed, not to cause anyone to
stumble and fall from salvation that the Father is working
with to bring to eternal life, especially the little ones who are
new in the faith, and so in many ways the weaker ones, who can
then in many ways be that much more easy to offend and be made to
stumble and fall.
We as Christians need to understand very clearly that our
Father in heaven does not want us to be like a "bull in a china
shop" walking around crashing and smashing and stepping on others
with our mouth or actions, especially those who are of fine
delicate china, that will just about break from a bad look from
someone, let alone the wrong word or action at the wrong time
from someone either just carnally sinning against them, or
even using the liberty they have in Christ, when they should be
refraining from using that liberty (all that Paul was talking
about in Romans 14).
We must really come to understand this very important
principle, command, and law of the NT (New Testament), about not
causing offense as to cause others to stumble away from
righteousness and salvation. If you have not yet come to see the
importance of this instruction from Jesus then you need to mark
with a yellow marker in your Bible these words of Christ as found
in Matthew 13:41-42.
"The Son of man shall send forth His angels, and they shall
GATHER OUT of His kingdom ALL things that OFFEND (cause to
stumble and fall), and them which do iniquity; And shall cast
them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing
of teeth."
The NT shows that those who first come to Christ are as
"babes in Christ" - still on the "milk of the word" - still
having to put down firm solid roots into the good ground
to establish themselves and to make their calling and election
sure (2 Peter 1:1-11). They are at this stage in their salvation
the MOST vulnerable to spiritual attack and stumbling as to
falling away. They can be at this point in their walk with the
seed of the Word, be easily offended by others, by persecutions,
by trials, and so fall and stumble away from God (see Mark
4:16-17).
We need to make sure that it is not us, in word or action,
that causes someone to fall from the grace of God. Those new
little ones in Christ, we especially need to be careful with, to
help strengthen, encourage, love, serve with kindness and
humbleness and gentleness, so they can be built-up in Christ and
lay down good firm solid roots that can never be plucked up by
any wind, storm, or adversity that may come from the world
or Satan who is still roaming around like a lion trying to devour
and kill anyone he can (1 Peter 5:8).
In all this context we are, and Jesus was, talking about the
family of God, those whom the Father was calling, seeking after,
working with, wanting in His family NOW, in this life time, and
how we were to conduct ourselves within that context, and within
and among those of the Father's children, as His household of
faith. We are talking in this context as we should have our
responsibility towards every other individual in the Church
of the living God. I will have more to say on this as we look
later at what Paul wrote on the subject in certain specific ways
and situations that were happening in the churches of Rome and
Corinth.
Before all that I do want to address the situation that
certainly arose with Jesus as He taught and preached and lived
during His three and one half year ministry. The situation that
some were offended by Christ by the fact of who He said He was,
how He taught (with power and authority) and by how He lived and
what He said at times. I refer you to Mark 6:5-6 and John 6:60-66
for just two examples.
Jesus knew that not all who could be classified as
"disciples" of His were called and chosen by the Father. They
were "interested" in what He had to say and teach, to a point
only. Most of the population of Palestine, including the
religious leaders of the Jewish sects of His day, were far from
coming to God in humility and repentance. Most of the population
were not being called or chosen (John 6:44,65) by the Father at
that time. They were not then a part of the family of God, nor
were they apart of the "little ones that believe on me" as Jesus
put it.
It is just a fact of this physical human life that there
will be many, the majority out there, who could be "offended" in
their mind by the mere fact that we are who we are. By the fact
we say we are Christians, by the fact that we believe and read
the Bible, by the fact that we hold to certain doctrinal beliefs,
and practice certain ways of living that even effect physical
things we do or do not do. By the fact that we do our very best
in word and actions towards all these people, so not to upset
them and get them angry and hostile towards us, from the fact
that we are who we are as Christians, many of them may be
offended in and at us.
This was surely true of Jesus. Many in His day were offended
in and at Him by Him being and living and talking in a way of
life that was simply being a Son of the Father in heaven.
Having people being offended at you because you live and
talk and walk as a child of the heavenly Father, is NOT WHAT
JESUS WAS TALKING ABOUT in the verses we have so far looked at.
Such living, while trying even to be kind and polite to the
unconverted world, will in many cases automatically give offence
to those who are unconverted and not being called by the Father
to His light of truth. We need to just be careful that we live
and move around this world to be under the directions of what
Peter said as to how to conduct ourselves in the world (1 Peter
2:12-20). We need to practice "well doing" that we may put to
silence the "ignorance" of foolish men. If we suffer by the hands
of them, we need to make sure it is for "well doing" which is
then pleasing to God.
Yes, we are to try to live "peaceably with all men" as Paul
said we should (Romans 12:18), as much as is within our power. We
are to do all the things that Paul said in that last part of
chapter 12 as we live in this world and rub shoulders with those
not called to the family of God at this time. Yet the fact
remains, as it was with Jesus, who did all these things perfectly
and without sin, some will be offended at us for being Christians
and living the way we live.
We can do nothing about this. The Father understands this.
Jesus understands this. He lived it. That situation is not what
Christ was discussing in these verses of giving no offense to the
little ones that believe in Him and that the Father is searching
and seeking as the lost sheep to bring home.
OFFENCE FROM THE MOUTH
The word of the Lord has a great deal to say about the mouth
and the words that come out of it. Jesus said that from the
abundance of the heart the mouth did speak. Of course the mouth
brings forth words only as was first in the mind which then tells
the mouth to speak or not to speak.
Solomon in Ecclesiastes 5:2,3 wrote: "Be not rash with your
mouth, and let not your heart be hasty to utter any thing before
God: for God is in heaven, and you upon earth: therefore let your
WORDS BE FEW. For a dream comes through the multitude of
business; and a fool's voice is known by MULTITUDES OF WORDS."
Many of us need to carry around this wise proverb in our
wallets or handbags and read it often through the months of the
year. It really would do wonders for us in our daily lives if we
make it a part of our practice and way of living. To put it in
the modern vernacular, it is saying: Think before you speak, put
your mind into gear before you speak, and do not speak as much
and as often as you may want to.
Solomon also wrote: "A word FITLY spoken is like apples of
gold in pictures of silver" (Prov.25:11).
Just imagine solid apples of gold, say about half a dozen of
them, think of the value of them in green backs they would be
worth. Then place them in a solid silver frame, the value in
dollars even more now. Not just the dollar value would be great,
but the beauty of such to look at would be magnificent. Such is
the value and beauty of someone who has mastered the control of
the tongue and knows how and when to speak.
But alas, even for far too many Christians, the tongue seems
to be one of the hardest and last enemies that is brought under
subjection to the mind of Christ. James was writing to Christians
of the twelve tribes of Israel (James 1:1-2) and he had to write
to them about the power of the tongue for evil or good.
Let us remind ourselves in this study of not offending
others by reading what he wrote about the control of the tongue,
so we can remember that it is often through the tongue FIRST that
we give offense and cause someone to stumble and fall.
"We all make mistakes in all kinds of ways, but the man who
can claim that he never says wrong thing can consider himself
perfect, for if he can control his tongue he can control every
other part of his personality! Men control the movements of a
large animal like the horse with a tiny bit placed in its mouth.
Ships too, for all their size and momentum they have with a
strong wind behind them, are controlled by a very small rudder
according to the course chosen by the helmsman. The human tongue
is physically small, but what tremendous effects it can boast of!
A whole forest can be set ablaze by a tiny spark of fire, and the
tongue is a fire, a whole world of evil. It is set within our
body members but it can poison the whole body, it can set the
whole of life ablaze, fed with the fires of hell.
Beasts, birds, reptiles and all kinds of sea-creatures can
be, and if fact are, tamed by men, but no one can tame the human
tongue. It is an evil always liable to break out, and the poison
it spreads is deadly. We use the tongue to bless out Lord and
Father and we use the same tongue to curse our fellow-man, who
are all created in God's likeness. Blessing and curses come out
of the same mouth - surely, my brothers, this is the sort
of thing that never ought to happen! Have you ever known a spring
to give sweet and bitter water from the same source? Have you
ever seen a fig-tree with a crop of olives, or seen figs growing
on a vine? It is just as impossible for salt water to produce
fresh" (James 3:2-12, Phillips Modern English translation).
Indeed, how many family fights, where people bless and then
curse each other, have been started by the words that come from
the tongue? How many families have been torn apart for days or
months and even for years, because of things that were said
by those family members to one another or to others, coming from
the mouth that would then bless someone else or give praises to
God at their church. The bickering, the slander, the gossip, the
bad-mouthing, the caustic remarks, the "poking-fun-at," the
cutting sarcasms, the belittling, and all the other evils and
un-pleasantries that can come from the lips, even the lips of
Christians towards and about other Christians....well it's a good
job people are not recording us all the time, then again if we
knew people were recording us, I think our speech would be often
very different than what it is at times.
James makes it clear than if we have good control over our
tongue, using it in a way that is pleasing to our heavenly
Father, we are well on the way to spiritual maturity and
perfection that Jesus said should be our aim in our Christian
life (Mat.5:48).
Let us, with the power of the Spirit of the Lord, really
get to grips with this little member of ours and control our
speech so we will not offend the members of the body of Christ,
especially the "little ones."
TO BE CONTINUED
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