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OFFENDING
AND
BEING OFFENDED
Part Two
by
Keith Hunt
OFFENDING OUT BRETHREN THROUGH ACTIONS
Read through the NT it is not hard to find the verses that
are clear and plain regarding actions of sin and gross misconduct
that doing to others could very well lead them to be offended
and to stumble and fall, to think and say to themselves, "well if
that is acting as a Christian towards me then I do not want
anything to do with the Bible and Christianity." Many have so
been offended by those calling themselves "Christian" and have
walked away from serving God, because of the actions of others
towards them, who claimed to be followers of Jesus Christ.
We can see some of the "works of the flesh" very openly
listed by Paul in Galatians 5, verses 19 to 21.
"Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear
(obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency, idolatry,
sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper),
selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (fractions,
sects with peculiar opinions, heresies), envy, drunkenness,
carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did
previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the
kingdom of God" (Amplified Bible).
It is not very hard to put some of these words that describe
some of the works of the flesh, into real life situations that
some Christians have done towards other Christians, and see
that such could cause some to stumble and fall, be so offended,
that they walk away from not only the family of God but the
Father and Christ, and walk right back into the world and the net
of Satan.
There have been some young ladies in the Church of God who
have been taken advantage of in a sexual manner by men in the
Church of God, some of the men were minsters. The damage of this
immorality, indecency, and selfishness on the part of these men,
was in some cases un-repairable with some of the ladies, who
became so offended they did stumble away from God, while others
have for years (and maybe still) been fighting a terrible
spiritual battle to stay alive in the family of God.
The heresies, out-and-out crazy theology ideas that have
come among the children of God at times (as Peter said they would
- 2 Peter 2) have destroyed and caused to fall many who have
left the straight and narrow way of the Lord, and some even to
the physical death of themselves in suicide.
Many Christians acting out of strife and anger (ill
tempter), together often with division and party spirit, have
been responsible for offending some to the point of giving up on
all religion that calls itself "Christian" and will have nothing
whatsoever to do with reading the Bible.
We could go on with more examples of the effects of the
works of the flesh as listed in Galatians 5 and in other passages
of the NT, but there is no need, as most people can see the
plain obvious from such works that may be done by some in the
Church of God towards others who are part of the same family of
people.
What is more insidious and far less open and harder to see
and then to acknowledge, is the actions and practices of life
that are within the liberty and law of God, which people in the
family of God can do with the Father's blessing as such, but
which if done towards and in the presence of some children of
God, could cause them to be offended and to stumble.
The principle of all this is given by Paul in
1 Cor.10:23,24, "All things (that are within the law of God) are
lawful for me (to practice), but all things are not expedient
(profitable for spiritual growth in others): all things (that are
within the law of God) are lawful for me (to perform), but all
things (that I may have lawful freedom to practice) edify not
(other people to spiritual maturity and strength). Let (because
of this) no man seek his own (doing what he may lawfully do in
God's sight), but every man another's (spiritual wellbeing and
growth to maturity)" (Amplification myself).
We shall first see from the book of Romans, chapter 14, how
Paul himself expounds and explains his comments in the above two
verses. I shall be quoting from the Amplified Bible.
"As for the man who is a weak believer, welcome him (into
your fellowship), but not to criticize his opinions or pass
judgment on his scruples or perplex him with discussions. One
(man's faith permits him to) believe he may eat anything (within
the foods laws of God - Keith Hunt), while a weaker one (limits
his) eating to vegetables. Let not him who eats look down on
or despise him who abstains....."
Paul is speaking about the ones that Jesus spoke about - the
"little ones" who believe on Christ and coming to join the family
of God. They are new in the faith, still relatively as babes
in Christ, they come sometimes with pre-conceived ideas and
theological practices which may not be the entire truth, but what
they have at times is not wrong either, such as someone
believing they should not eat meat, but eat in a way that today
we say they are "a vegetarian" in diet. No where in the entire
Bible, certainly not under the NT, does God demand and
command anyone to eat meat. If someone wants to be a "vegetarian"
in diet under the NT they have that freedom and liberty in Christ
to so order their diet in that manner. On the other hand God's
word in its complete fullness shows that eating meat (clean meat
under His clean laws of meat eating - Lev.11; Deut.14) is also
approved by Him, if someone so wishes to regulate their
diet to contain some meat eating.
Let's take it one step further. Someone new to the faith,
hence in that sense "weak" in the faith, comes into the Church of
God believing it is wrong to eat meat, their theological
understanding at that time says to them that meat eating is
condemned by God. For them to eat meat or even be in the presence
of someone in the church who is eating meat would defile their
conscience and really up-set them. Is the meat eating church
member who invites them over for a meal and fellowship to serve
them a meat dish? Is that member while maybe not serving them
meat, eat a big huge T-bone steak in front of them during that
meal? Paul would most emphatically, as we shall clearly see, say
"no" to both questions. Under that situation the kindness and
best way to ensure the weak brother/sister is not offended, is to
serve and eat no meat whatsoever at that meal.
Notice it as Paul explains a little later, "None of us lives
to himself (but to the Lord), ...." (verse 7). We are to do
things, those actions of deeds, that will be pleasing under that
specific situation, to serve the Lord in helping and bringing a
weaker brother in theological issues (such as the theological
topic of eating meat or not eating meat as within the law of God)
to maturity, and it may be that the mature thing to do is accept
the weaker brother with his views until he/she grows in grace and
knowledge. Not to do anything that may cause them to feel
defiled, sin against their conscience, and so possibly stumble
and fall.
If we do the wrong action, then we may have put ourselves in
the position where Paul says, "Why do you criticize and pass
judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you look down upon or
despise your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment
seat of God...." We shall all have to answer for any wrong words
or actions we may have done to others to hurt their feelings,
especially if it is towards those who are still weak in the
faith, and have yet to learn much more about the word and truths
of the Lord, which you may have already come to see, have already
grown into those truth, but they still have not.
Because of all this, because we shall have to answer to the
Lord as to how we have conducted ourselves towards each other and
even more so towards the weaker brother in the faith, Paul
continues to say, "Then let us no more criticize and blame and
pass judgment on one another, but rather decide and endeavor
never to PUT A STUMBLING BLOCK or an obstacle or a hinderance in
the way of a brother" (verse 13).
Paul continues to expound on his thought in verse 15, "But
if your brother is being pained or his feelings hurt or if he is
being injured by what you eat. (You have ceased to be living and
conducting yourself by the standard of love towards him.) Do not
let what you eat hurt or cause the ruin of one for whom Christ
died!
If you go ahead do something that you may be entirely at
liberty to do in the sight of God and within His law, but a
brother cannot see that and is offended by what you do in his
sight, he may well speak evil of you, so speaking evil of an
action that is really proper but he not knowing or understanding
that it is. That situation Paul then addressed in verse 16, "Do
not therefore let what seems good to you be considered an evil
thing (by someone else). (In other words, do not give occasion
for others to criticize that which is justifiable for you.)"
There are many things we could do that would come under this
principle that Paul is laying down, being careful in our actions
not to hurt or offend or cause to stumble a brother or sister in
the fellowship of Christ. Paul still goes on to further expound
this very important teaching of living ones life and doing things
in front of others that takes into consideration what you know is
their feeling of emotion and theological belief on such matters.
"The right thing is to eat no meat, or drink no wine (at
all), or (do anything else) if it makes your brother stumble or
hurts his conscience or offends or weakens him. Your personal
convictions (on such matters) - exercise (them) as in God's
presence, keeping them to yourself (striving only to know the
truth and obey His will). Blessed (happy, to be envied) is he
who has no reason to judge himself for what he approves (who does
not convict himself by what he chooses to do)" (verses 21,22).
Remember now, this is all talking about only those things
that are WITHIN the law of God, it is not talking about doing
something outside of the will and law and commandments of
God, and you being quite content within your conscience to
practice such unlawful deeds. Paul is talking about doing things
that you know are approved of by God, allowed by the Lord, that
you have freedom do practice within the law of the Lord, but
another Christian brother has not yet come to see that, they are
still weak in the faith on that point. Paul continues, "But the
man who has doubts (misgivings, an uneasy conscience) about
eating, and then eats (perhaps because of you), stands condemned
(before God), because he is not true to his convictions and he
does not act from faith. For whatever does not originate and
proceed from faith is sin (whatever is done without a conviction
of its approval by God is sinful)" (verse 23).
All this is in the context of how the more mature Christian
person, the more grounded in the truths and faith of God,
individual, should live in actions when in the presence of those
"little ones" - those babes in Christ, those weak in the faith.
Paul makes this plain that this is the context as we see from the
first verses of chapter 15. "We who are strong (in our
convictions and of robust faith) ought to bear with the feelings
and the frailties and the tender scruples of the weak; (we ought
to help carry the doubts and qualms of others) and not to please
ourselves. Let each of us make it a practice to please (make
happy) his neighbor for his good and for his true welfare, to
edify him (to strengthen him and build him up spiritually). For
Christ did not please Himself (gave no thought to His own
interests); but, as it is written, The reproaches and abuses
of those who reproached and abused you fell on Me (Ps.69:9)"
(verses 1-3).
Paul found it necessary to teach this overall principle of
loving your fellow man by being careful of the things you do
towards them, and in their presence, to the church at Corinth. We
find his instruction in what we call his first letter (actually
he wrote to them before that letter at least one other), chapter
ten. We pick it up in verse 23, the added comments and
amplification is mine.
"All things (that are within the will and laws of God) are
lawful for me (permissible and legitimate for me to do), but all
things (within God's law) are not expedient (helpful, profitable
and edifying for spiritual maturity for others): all things
(allowed by God) are lawful for me, but all things (I may do and
practice) edify not (they may cause someone to be offended and
stumble in their growth towards Christ).Let no man seek his own
(seek his own pleasure only, his own advantage and profit), but
every man another's (let him be mindful of his neighbors
spiritual welfare and feelings on certain matters)" (verses
23,24).
Now before we read the next verses we need to understand the
background from which Paul is expressing and bringing forth his
example. The pagan religions had their Temples, their
Priesthoods, and their animal sacrifices, all done towards
worship of their gods. Often their would be much meat of the
animal left over from their sacrificial altar. It was not just
thrown out or given to the dogs, but taken and sold in the common
meat-market of the town. Often the meat was "clean" meat as far
as the laws of "clean and unclean" foods were concerned in the
Scriptures of the OT (Old Testament). No problem there, but
because it had been offered on a pagan altar to a false pagan
god, many Jews and Christians would deem the meat "spiritually"
unclean and would be offended by the thought of buying and eating
it. To them it would be as if they were partaking in the worship
of an idol, and hence doing something that would be against the
will of the true God. Their conscience would be defiled.
The meat itself and the animal from which it came had done
no wrong. The animal did not say, "well I'll worship this idol
and I will kill myself in sacrifice to this idol" so there was
no evil in the meat per se. But the conscience of someone eating
that meat might be defiled if they ate it because they would have
in their mind the view that they were worshipping an false
idol of paganism. But others knowing that the meat itself was not
to blame for false idol worship and knowing that there was
nothing defiled within the meat itself, would buy and eat that
meat from the meat-market, their conscience not being defiled one
bit. They knew it was within the laws of God to so buy and eat
such meat, and that the Lord did not hold them as sinning by so
doing.
This is what Paul is now talking about in the following
verses.
"Whatsoever is sold in the shambles (market place), that eat
(that which is within the foods laws of God), asking no question
(no need to ask if it had been at one time on a pagan altar in a
pagan temple) for conscience sake (your conscience as it knows
that the meat is not evil of itself): For the earth is the
Lord's, and the fullness thereof (you know the word of God
and so you know you are not defiled by eating any clean meat,
even if it was once upon the altar of an idol).
If (on the other hand) any of them that believe NOT bid you
to a feast (a meal of any kind) and you be disposed to go;
whatsoever (in the way of clean foods) is set before you, eat,
asking no question for conscience sake (no need to worry about
asking if the food had ever been offered to a false god in a
religious ceremony, for your conscience knows very well that such
food is not evil in itself).
But, if any man say unto you, 'This is offered in sacrifice
unto idols,' eat NOT for his sake that said this to you, eat not
for conscience sake (for the earth is the Lord's, and the
fullness thereof): Conscience I say, NOT YOUR OWN, BUT OF THE
OTHER (for if you eat it is his conscience and mind that will be
offended, made weak, be upset, possibly made to stumble and
fall as far as growing in knowledge of truth and of Christ). For
why is my LIBERTY (I know the truth on this matter, I know it is
within my Christian liberty to eat this food) judged of another's
conscience? (I'm not going to refrain normally speaking and if I
was under a different situation where no person was present who
was upset in their conscience about someone eating such meat
offered in sacrifice to idols).
For if I by grace (knowing the truth of God, being
spiritually more mature and having been given more knowledge and
grace) be a partaker (use my liberty in so eating that food), why
am I evil spoken of for that which I give thanks (I should not be
evil spoken of, as someone doing something evil or sinful, but
with their conscience defiled, upset, weakened, offended, by
the fact I may eat this food offered to idols, they, the offended
person, may well believe I'm doing evil and tell others I've done
evil, so to prevent that from happening, I will not eat that
food, because of the other's conscience, not because of mine).
Whether therefore you eat or drink, or WHATSOEVER you DO, do
all to the glory of God (we cannot just live in our own little
world, doing only what pleases us all the time, without
considering the feelings, thoughts, emotions, scruples, religious
theology, conscience, of others that we come in contact with in
our daily living and even social times and events).
Give NONE OFFENCE, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles,
nor to the Church of God. Even as I please all, in all, not
seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may
be saved (it is not only towards our fellow Christian brother and
sister we need to be considerate at all times, but also towards
all peoples of all nations, that in so doing we may one day win
them to Christ and see them also saved)" (verses 25-33).
When living in this world, as working and socializing in
this world, we shall over our life time come into contact with
many people from many different backgounds, cultures,
upbringings, philosophies, religious convictions, customs of
practices and beliefs. We need to be very tactful at times in
what we say and do when associating with these people. We need to
take into consideration what at that present time "makes them
tick" as we say, and we may have to "back down" in what words
come from our mouth and what actions we do while in their
presence, so we do not offend their conscience or scruples.
There are many things that may be correct for us to do and
be within the law of God, but not all of those things NEED to be
done, we also have the liberty within God's law to REFRAIN
from doing them, if it means that by refraining we will NOT
offend the conscience of someone. That is Christian LOVE towards
our fellow man, that is also our Christian liberty and so we
should make sure we know when to practice it.
NOT BEING OFFENDED!
We can through the help of the Spirit of God most of the
time come to master and control our words and actions that come
from us towards others. It is not possible to so control the
words and actions that may come from others towards US, hence
others can with the tongue and with deeds, do and say things that
COULD offend us IF we let those words or action offend us. They
do not HAVE to offend us, that aspect of how to will mentally and
emotionally respond to others whose words or actions are not the
kindest, or as we might perceive them as not being kind, that
reaction of ours is within OUR control. For us to act in those
situations with a cutting reply, with sarcasm, with hostility,
with anger, with bitterness, or with none of that but a shrug of
the shoulders, letting the water run off us as water running off
a ducks back, letting it just glide on by and pass over our head,
well that kind of a response from us IS within our power to
manifest.
We have a wonderful example in the NT that illustrates the
correct and right response to a situation that many would have
become VERY OFFENDED with and at. We shall look at this example
through the words written about it by Richard Nickels in his
short paper on this subject called, "Do You Have a Right to be
Offended?"
"In Matthew 15:21-28, we find a Gentile woman of Canaan who
approached Christ, begging Him to heal her daughter who was
grievously vexed with a demon. At first, He refused to answer
her! The disciples had no compassion for her, and asked Jesus to
send this bothersome person away. Finally, Jesus said (my
paraphrase - R. Nickels), 'I am sent only to the lost sheep
of the House of Israel.' But the Canaanite woman refused to give
up. She worshipped Him the more, saying, 'Lord, help me!' Jesus
then said, 'It is not fitting to take the children's bread, and
cast it to dogs.' Jesus called this Gentile woman a 'dog' ! If
you tried this today, you would probably get your face slapped,
or worse! Call a woman today a female dog, and you better run
for cover. If the Canaanite woman would have been offended and
walked off in a huff, she would have had a clear right to do so,
in our eyes. However, in this case, her daughter would not have
been healed.
She ignored the put down, humbled herself and said, 'Truth,
Lord, yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from the master's
table.' There was one purpose in her mind: her daughter needed
to be released from demonic possession. It seemed that NOTHING
could offend this woman. Nothing at all. Then the Lord responded
with His characteristic compassion and understanding. He did not
offend her, knowing that with her character, she would not likely
be offended. He was pleased with her attitude. 'O woman,' He
said, 'great is your faith: be it unto you even as you will.'
Her daughter was immediately made whole. We should be like the
Canaanite woman. We should NOT be offended, at anything.
However, just before this incident, Jesus also offended the
Pharisees, Matthew 15:1-20. In verse 12, we see that the
disciples were concerned about Jesus offending these 'high and
mighty' important persons. But the Savior was not out to ' win
friends and influence people.' He called the Pharisees
hypocrites, transgressors of the Commandments of God, and blind
leaders of the blind. Unlike the Canaanite woman who had great
faith, the Pharisees WERE offended.
The Canaanite woman seemed to have the right to be offended
at indignities done to her, but she wasn't. The Pharisees had no
right to be offended because they were wrong in leading others
away from the paths of God. Yet they were offended.
Therefore, WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE OFFENDED! It is the
person who is not offended, who usually has the compassion and
understanding not to offend others.
David and the prophets knew this. David wrote: 'Great peace
have they which love thy law: and NOTHING shall offend them'
Psalm 119:165......."
End of quote.
This is a very important subject we have looked at. A true
Christian must learn how not to offend others, and they need also
to learn how not be offended by others. This is not a light
matter, I need to give emphasis to that, this is not a matter to
be taken lightly, for as Jesus said, those who do not learn the
truth of this, and who continue to practice and live a life style
that is constantly offending others in word and deed, will find
themselves being gathered by the angels and CAST OUT of the
Kingdom. The doctrine of REPENTANCE means we are to repent of
sin, and a part of all that is to acknowledge that there is a
side of offending others that is sinful, whereby in doing that
sin we shall destroy the work of God in wanting to bring "little
ones" into His family, so they can be nurtured and nourished on
the milk of the word, then the meat of the word, so to mature and
grow in grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus, and finally be born
into glory as the immortal and everliving sons and daughters of
the Father.
I hope this study has guided you into the plain truth on
this subject and that you will go forward into the Kingdom of God
by not offending anyone or being offended.
...............................
Written May 2000
All articles and studies by Keith Hunt may be copied, published,
e-mailed, and distributed as led by the Spirit. Mr. Hunt trusts
nothing will be changed (except for spelling and punctuation
error) without his consent.
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