Note: The first edition of this article was originally completed in 1990, based on the author's personal experiences with the Worldwide Church of God from 1978 to 1984. While many changes have occurred in this church since that time, it is the author's personal contention that doctrinal changes are completely irrelevant to the core of the Worldwide Church of God's destructiveness, that is, the cruel psychological manipulation of its membership.This treatment of its members is common to many harmful groups, and understanding how people are led into this situation is more generally useful than details of one small, nearly-defunct church group.

8. Hard-won Understanding

8.1. Redeeming Time Lost

      Have I come away with anything good from my experience with the Worldwide Church of God? Of course. I have learned a great deal about religious history, have become more familiar with the Bible, have memories, from the early years, of wonderful and inspiring private discussions of religion, and intense spiritual connections with other members, before this was forbidden. But I have primarily learned the less happy, though regrettably necessary, lesson I am passing on in this article, regarding the subtle nature of this evil organization. If evil is the desire to exert political control over others in order to destroy them or hinder their growth, then the WWCOG is evil. Nostalgia over the good things--and the holy days, for example, were often times of deep religious experience -- is the member's worst enemy. Sadness over the loss of what little good there was can falsely colour a person's memory, and almost convince one to go back.

      But these things were not worth the cost. The few good things I have managed to salvage from those years in the congregation were certainly not worth having the Worldwide Church of God cripple me spiritually. For years, one of the reasons I could not write this article was that I literally could not bring myself to open my Bible. I felt that somehow its words "belonged" to the WWCOG, and I had no right to them. I also felt that the Creator and God of the Universe was "their" God, and I had no right to pray to Him. One thing that has become evident to me after leaving the church is that, like involvement with pornography and prostitution, which can destroy a person's ability to love and trust and have a truly intimate sexual partnership, exposure to this church has a parallel effect, spiritually.

      My experience with this church made it difficult for me to even contemplate the worship of God without fear or a knot in my stomach. Considering the body of believers is likened to a Bride, and Christ to the Husband, any writings or experiences that would defile Her spiritually would be, metaphorically, spiritual pornography or prostitution. Idolatry (which this organization requires, demanding to be worshipped in the place of God) is called, in the Bible, fornication -- the book of Hosea is an extended metaphor on this theme. I believe the emotional vulnerability in the areas of sex and worship are similar: there is a delicate, flower-like sensitivity which, in both cases, is easily seared.

      I originally wrote this article to help people who have left the Worldwide Church of God to come to an acceptance of what was wrong with the church, so they could begin to heal, and look to their future without being haunted by a mysterious something which will not let them rest. Then it occurred to me that it would be good to be able to warn those still considering joining the WWCOG. Whether I am able to prevent them or not, perhaps I may at least plant a seed of understanding that will grow throughout their experiences, and finally blossom into their own personal wisdom that can help them tread that narrow path of genuine religion some few people in the WWCOG have managed to preserve, despite the organization, or help them when they must leave.

8.2. Healing Words from Surprising Sources

      The three books that helped me the most after I left were The Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses by Heather and Gary Botting, and Man's Search for Meaning and The Doctor and the Soul by Viktor Frankl. The former, describing the experience of being a Jehovah's Witness, shocked me with many of the emotional similarities to my own experience. The latter two books, dealing with the spiritual nature of man, helped me to accept that the WWCOG had not somehow kept my "spirit" when I left the organization -- I brought it out with me, intact, if somewhat wounded. These books helped me come to terms with the fact that this organization did not "own" God (what a blasphemous idea!), nor could they consign me to any future hell; they had, however, shown me enough of it when I was in their hands.

      I hope to be able to give someone coming out of some other destructive religion that jolt of recognition the authors of The Orwellian World of Jehovah's Witnesses gave me; somehow, looking at these issues from the perspective of another group helped me immensely. Religious manipulation, mind control, twisting the truth into a lie -- ultimately, these are common to all destructive religions. That these groups do indeed have some truth is important to recognize: no one will eat pure poison who does not want to die, but anyone will eat good food, unaware of the poison it contains. No one has to deny the truth or insight he has gained in order to reject the lies it has been poisoned with.

      Lastly, I hoped to be able to put the WWCOG into some perspective for those researching it for less personal reasons. Other sources will be more helpful for general research, as I have deliberately not dwelt upon issues covered everywhere else.

8.3. The Cult Experience

      I have avoided labels like "cult," since they are impossible to define in the way commonly intended, as a term of disapproval. Those who study religions see new ones grow from cult to sect to denomination as the group gets larger, as the next generation of leaders takes over from the founder, and as the membership is comprised less of converts and more of second generation members; by these definitions, the term cult is not pejorative, but merely descriptive. The Worldwide Church of God has only recently lost its founder, and, so far as I know, it is still mainly made up of converts rather than second generation members. None of this tells us how destructive or benign the group may be, though it is generally recognized that the earlier stages more easily allow for abuses. I remember the congregation being told that the founder's son, Garner Ted Armstrong, was kicked out precisely because he was turning the Worldwide Church of God into a "denomination," an event applauded by other churches, but ultimately condemned by the organization itself.

      I do believe there is such a thing as the "cult experience," which involves mind control and psychological damage. I do not believe everyone in the WWCOG has gone through this experience, as some appear to find the organization suits them comfortably, though they are in the minority. The individuals who deal with the WWCOG well as a personal religion tend to be those whose entire family is in the church; they are often second-generation members, so they have had more of a "denominational" experience of the church. It is also possible to experience the destructive effects of the cult experience in the mainstream churches as well, particularly those that are very strict, or those transplanted into an alien culture.

      I think we can justify labelling those groups where this experience is extremely common or universal, as being intrinsically "destructive." I do put the WWCOG in this category, without question. I simply do not wish, in the process of highlighting one sector, to exonerate other, not-necessarily-innocent organizations, simply because they are "established." Far too many institutions, religious and political, can cause the same destruction of the individual's inner spirit, by threatening to dissolve him and absorb him into some collective mass, obliterating his uniqueness and causing severe emotional damage. I know, for example, a psychologist who often treats patients so damaged by psychiatrists that they need therapy to undo their previous "therapy." Abusive and violent spouses and families often exhibit more horrifying mind control and "cult" activity than the most fearsome groups. In fact, this has led me to believe that Free Moral Agency was not given to man by God because He chose it among other equally-viable options, but because, had He done any less, He would have become evil Himself.

      I do believe we often fall into cult experiences at times of vulnerability or weakness, confusion and disorientation, and often stay out of fear. Effective cults, though, like other confidence tricksters, have many techniques for extracting and magnifying the normal vulnerability of virtually anyone, so no one need feel immune. Those with the most experience with them, and therefore the greatest knowledge to fight them, do not trust themselves to get involved in any of their activities, knowing better than anyone that he who sups with the devil must use a long spoon.

      Milder groups, like the WWCOG, who do not literally isolate one from one's own home, work, and society, allow a greater degree of choice. Part of the healing is to accept the responsibility for having joined and for not having left sooner; this said, you must understand the need to take your own time to climb out of a psychological web like this. I doubt there is any real value in blaming yourself unduly.