13. Where Do I Go After the Worldwide Church of God?
YOU'RE IN THE WORLDWIDE CHURCH OF GOD, and your head is still spinning from all the changes. You are not one of those who are happy to follow the new program. You cling to the fact that you have maintained your loyalty to the church through thick and thin, and are relieved that you have not been expelled. You've done your best to go along with the changes, but you feel uneasy, and some things you just do not buy, but you're careful not to let on. Where possible, you continue to do the things you feel are important. When you read about your new "freedom" and "liberty," and hear the mush that passes for sermons, you can feel your stomach start to churn. You wonder, "Is there something wrong with me?" Or, you seldom go anymore: it's not what it was, but you don't know what else to do. Or, you've left, but don't know where to go or what to do now. Freedom is fine, but freedom from or freedom to? It's not so simple.
Don't fall into the trap of letting this thing break your family up, if you can possibly help it. Be tolerant of your spouse's feelings. Maybe he or she likes the new changes, or wants to go to another group. Whatever happens, try not to let controversy divide you. Discuss ways you can avoid confusing the children. Sometimes you could go along with each other to your preferred services. Try to let this crisis broaden your mind enough to be more tolerant of diverse opinion. This is not compromise; it is the respect for others' views needed to maintain family ties. Remember Free Moral Agency. God respects it enough to allow evil in the world. Imitate the seriousness of His commitment. Be in awe of what that says about the sacredness of human choice.
The main thing is to avoid religious manipulation: don't stand for it, and don't do it to others. Respect people. Making snide comments or digs is definitely out of bounds. So is being argumentative, going into rages, ranting and raving. Anger and cruelty were always rampant in the WCG. If you feel betrayed, hurt and bitter, you will be tempted to indulge in anger. If you have been in the Worldwide Church of God, you will have picked up many habits and ideas that will seem arrogant and rude to others. Examine yourself and how you speak to others, how you behave with them. I personally found studying the Seven Deadly Sins helpful and eye-opening. Take Paul's advice: "As much as is in you, live peaceably with all men."
You must purge out cultish behaviour, and not expose yourself to those kinds of influences. If you are going to associate with offshoot groups, you need to watch for this, as it is often taken for granted and unthinkingly repeated. In other words, it is reasonable to assume that some, or perhaps many, WCG offshoots will be as oppressive as the original. I've been told this is so, as well. Don't be too eager to commit to another group, and don't let anyone lock you into some exclusive association. You are responsible for your own behaviour and spiritual state, and need the freedom to exercise your responsibility. "Work out your own salvation in fear and trembling, for it is God that works within you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
For yourself, re-examine the roots of your faith. Get back to basics. Creation. God. Common morality. Noble behaviour. People of all faiths and cultures embrace certain basic understandings of good and evil. They are worth looking at. The Christian faith is often an elaboration, a refinement, though sometimes also a correction.
Stay away from personalities. You are not following men, but God. You are not followers of Apollos or of Paul (1 Cor. 1:12, 3:4-22), but of Christ. Talking about various ministers or other church leaders and their controversies with each other is an easy way to start a fight with someone who has a different opinion. Keep to the basics of the faith.
If you don't even remember why you are a Christian, or even why you believe in God--if you still do-you need to go way back, and start over. Don't be afraid to use materials from other churches or philosophers, but don't buy into anything just because it initially sounds good. Give yourself time. If you need to put these things aside, for the sake of your own peace of mind, do so. Be patient.
Review your own history, and what experiences or arguments made most sense to you in the past. If they seem shallow now, don't be afraid to ask the hard questions. You don't have to have all the answers right away. Above all, be honest with yourself, even if you must be tactful with others. If you have become agnostic, or atheistic, don't pretend to believe something you don't. This is painful, but honesty vigorously pursued is always the best policy, and keeps you open to any necessary revisions. Dishonesty will kill you spiritually quicker than anything.
If you feel comfortable with your basic beliefs, it does not hurt to renew your acquaintance with them. What do you believe? Why do you believe it? Refresh your memory. Reassess. Are there things that bear further scrutiny? Get used to making space and time for yourself, if people pressure you: "I'm still looking into that," or "I'm re-thinking a lot of things," should do. If not, don't let yourself be "evangelized." Anyone (outside close family and friends) who tries to argue with you, treat like a high-pressure salesman-don't be manipulated by guilt, or feel inadequate because they "have all the answers" and you don't.
With family members and valued friends, try a sidestep, "I just need time to figure out some things: let's not let this come between us," or whatever does not get you into a protracted arguments, unless you are both capable of honestly comparing notes and discussing issues without it becoming a fight. Often, the closer your relationship, the harder this is to do, but maybe you have friends you can honestly discuss things with-people who will not discuss what you have said with a minister. If so, you may help each other find useful material. Once you have gone over the basics, you must move on, and grow. Leaving everything fuzzy is dishonest, lazy, and simply not acceptable.
If you want to learn more about things no longer taught at Worldwide, there are many sources of information out there, much more all the time. Gathering information over the Internet means you do not need to contact people personally, and risk any complications, and you can use the Net at most libraries if you don't have it at home. Many places also have literature and tapes available by mail. If you're still in Worldwide, you've gotten used to paying for things; people who will send you things free deserve some support-they are providing you with a service, after all.
If you want to look more deeply into the holy days, and other things, such as the nature of God, don't be afraid to try Jewish sources: they never ceased to be entrusted with the oracles of God, and you will be surprised at how much you will learn. Of course, the ultimate emphasis is different, as the idea of Christ's redeeming sacrifice is not there, but you can temper what you have learned with Christian meditation, Bible reading (and you'd be amazed how Paul comes alive after reading Jewish sources!) and literature from Hebraic-Christian and Messianic Jewish groups.
If you like the "new teachings," but hate the same-old totalitarian arrogance with which they are proclaimed, you may wish to educate yourself in the wealth of material out there on general Christian subjects. C.S. Lewis is a good place to start, as he deliberately avoids denominationalism; though he was an Anglican, himself; he primarily saw himself as a Christian. Choosing a particular Christian communion is not a matter of picking what you like from a smorgasbord, but of a personal conviction and desire to worship God in spirit and truth. You do need to acknowledge that an honest pursuit of truth does lead different people to different conclusions; they disagree even on how important some of the differences are: what is to one person trivial is to another vital.
Above all, avoid the trap of the ad hominem argument, that something is true or false because of who said it (even Biblical sources need to be taken in context). Neither rely on Herbert Armstrong's ideas, nor other WCG old-timers, nor on other "favorite" writers you may find. All are human and prone to error. "Prove all things" continues to be a necessary byword. You will find things that make sense even in the new WCG teachings. The old WCG was very legalistic, without a doubt. Many other flaws Joe Tkach points out are also no doubt true. Don't dismiss him out of hand, or believe him just because of the position he holds. On the other hand, I haven't seen anything, either in the on-line version of The Plain Truth, or in the Worldwide News that really has anything to add to everyday garden-variety Protestantism. I don't see the need to turn to the WCG as a source for anything.
It seems that Joe Tkach's arguments all fall under the basic Law vs. Grace controversy that has plagued Christendom from time immemorial. If you're uncomfortable with this issue , you'll need to settle it first, or you will always be vulnerable to attack. Read Paul. Read James. Read John. Notice how none of them had a problem reconciling law and grace. By all means, read various literature on the subject, though most modern stuff is so skewed to a relativistic feel-good idea of "grace" that I find difficulty having patience with it. For cogent arguments on the Law, you may need to read older books.
Avoid too much study of the history and personalities of the WCG, its predecessors and its offshoots, as this tends to degenerate into religious gossip and takes the focus from God. But if you need to purge yourself of the ignorance and lies from your former experience, take the time to do this. There are two good diagrams on the WCG website, showing their origins and their offshoots, based on research done by Barnabas Minstry's Alan Ruth into WCG-associated groups and by that of the Bible Advocate's Robert Coulter on the history of the Church of God (Seventh Day). Alan Ruth lists addresses of groups.
Of course, the Ambassador Report, an anti-WCG watchdog publication from way back, also has a web site, and all the old issues from the archives have now been put on-line. I have not read through many of these, but they are, I am told, very eye-opening, if you really need to know the worst dirt on so many WCG leaders and other events. The whole business is so inflammatory and upsetting that I've felt no desire to find out every last detail. Before they were all on-line, and one had to order copies, I read through the summaries of their literature -- which is an education in itself -- but for me, the summaries were a bit more, already, than I wanted to needed to know. I felt somewhat unclean and sullied after reading even that much. An antidote to this: "Whatsoever things are good…think on these things."
As you carry on with your spiritual quest, which, after all, should take the rest of your life, keep your sense of humour. Smell the flowers. Be kind to other people. Once in a while, read something written by someone of a completely different belief (or nonbelief) and appreciate our common humanness, and note you can learn something from everyone.
Good luck, and God speed.
Jesse Ancona, February 1998 (with minor revisions, April 2002).
